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March 18, 2006

Wrestling returns to NBC in the form of “Main Event”.

I’ll be quite honest. I haven’t watched much of WWE for quite some time. Mostly it’s boring crap. So I tuned in just out of pure curiosity. In the very first match I was greeted by two haunting questions.

First, when did Rey Mysterio (Or Raymond Stereo as he was referred to in one of the greatest sheets going, “Our So Called Sport”), drop the Jr. from his name? (Favorite line of the night so far, by Lawler, “He’s so short you can see his feet on his drivers license picture”)

Second, Just who books this crap? I have long maintained that Vince has had things his way far too long, and is just recycling the same old crap. He’s surrounded by yes men (or, to paraphrase Homer Simpson, people who will kiss his ass and call it ice cream). As such, he’s convinced himself he’s a genius.

So, we have the main event for the RAW portion of Wrestlemania teaming up going against the Smackdown portion of Wrestlemania. To wit, HHH teamed up with John Cena against Kurt Angle, Randy Orton and the aforementioned Rey Mysterio (no Jr.).

I just saw the inductees for the HOF. Mean Gene, Eddie Guerrero, Verne Gagne, The Hitman, Sensational Sherry. An interesting class, to say the least.

I’m glad that Bret has mended fences with Vince. Eddie doesn’t really surprise me. I don’t want to sound too off center, but can’t help think that this is a sympathy vote. Sensational Sherry is only the 2nd woman to get into the HOF? Hmm, I can think of several others who I’d put in first, but, whatever.

I must say, that was some dress that Lita was falling out of. She must have stayed in by virtue of sheer willpower.

I hate to break this to Edge, but he isn’t worthy to carry Mick Foley’s jockstrap. Another no talent with incriminating pictures of Vince. That’s about the only reason I can think of for his push. Regardless, Foley will do what he always does, carry the match for this nub.

One thing I can pretty much guess, pics of Lita from tonight are going to be up on the net before too long. After all, there must be a couple of million prepubescent boys who are going to be drooling over them. (And several hundred thousand grown men who have all the maturity of said pre-pubescent boys).

It’s now 45 minutes into the show. I think I’ve seen enough to convince me that nothing has changed for the better in the world of WWE. I see all of Vince’s tired old tricks and they frankly just don’t play out for me any longer.

Let’s be honest, I see far more creativity in the e-feds I participate in than I see there. More creative story lines, more thought out booking and story arcs that take longer than one PPV to get through. As long as Mr. McMahon thinks he’s a genius, and as long as he has his sycophants telling him that he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, I see a long dry spell for wrestling.

Oh, wrestling of my youth, where have you gone?